So today, I took the day off. I left my computer off until dinnertime and that is an amazing accomplishment for me. I think the lines get much blurrier when working from home sometimes. When am I actually at work? When am I home? When is it family time? When is it time to rest? It was so much easier when I went away to an office in so many ways. I haven't worked much without my kids since my first born over 9 years ago and had only a brief time of working away from my oldest son when he was around 3. It was only a few hours a week and I remember that time rather fondly. It was just enough that I really missed him and was ready to come back. But it gave me that time that was distinctly mine to be a grown-up- to drink a hot beverage without worrying about someone getting burned and perhaps have a complete thought without an interruption before 10PM.
I knew this past week had been too much, so I decided today was going to be a family day. I ended up having some wonderful quality time with my 4 year-old son. We played on the front porch with those little seeds that fall to the ground like a mini helicopter for the longest time. I watched his face fill with joy and excitement as we raced our little helicopters to the ground. He'd cackle as he let his fall from his hand way before anyone said, "Go!" and would rejoice in his triumph when his hit the ground first.
It was through this encounter that I saw how much he was simply in the present moment. He wasn't worrying about future events or chugging through events of the past. He was simply right there watching the little helicopters make their flights with great anticipation, even though the races were over nearly as soon as they began. Watching his face light up was one of the highlights of my day.
Tomorrow I am determined to keep checking in with myself and make sure that I am giving rapt attention to those little miracles that my children seem to see so much more easily. I'm going to take lots of time to play and learn how to better set aside time to just simply be in the present moment with my family. Everything else can wait. Nothing is more important than my family.
I know it will take time to get the balance right, but intention is a very important part and I have that now. And I am thankful to my son for reminding me how it is done.