Thursday, July 31, 2008

Just want to fix it?

My oldest son woke in the middle of the night unable to breathe and was coughing a really croupy cough.  He doesn't normally wake up in the night and come in to me, so I knew when he came in that this was something different.  He has a lot of stressors in his life right now and I know this is part of what's going on with him.  I can see that some of it is emotional, rather than purely physical and I want to fix it.  I want him to feel better.  

So, I got out of bed and tried to figure out what it was that was bothering him and what I could do to help him.  I pulled out my homeopathics and set about trying to figure out, through my groggy middle of the night brain, what it was that he needed.  Try as I might, I couldn't figure it out.  Where was this coming from?  What did he need?

I was so busy searching for a solution that I realized that I had moved away from him.  I was off in my own little corner in my own little world trying to fix it.  Yes, maybe there was something I could give him that would make him feel better.  But maybe I just needed to be there for him to support him, laying beside him and knowing that this is simply where he is in this moment on his own journey.

As mothers, we want to make it better, easier, for our children.  We want to take the pain away.  But that is simply not always possible, especially when it comes to our children's emotional pain.  Sometimes our children are just communicating that they need our presence.  And that is the best thing we can do for them, knowing they will find their way through it if we are just there for them emotionally.

Be open to what your child is communicating with you today and strive to be emotionally present- that is the most healing thing you can do for your child on his journey.  We can't always fix it, but that's okay.  Connection is what really matters.  Thanks for the lesson, Zack.