Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Resources for Parenting

When I first became a parent, I knew the kind of parent that I wanted to be.  I wanted to be kind and connected, showing love and compassion for my children.  I wanted a peaceful home with love everywhere.  I was determined to do this.  I went to therapy before I even got pregnant with my first because I knew that my own childhood had been rocky and I wanted to learn from my parents' struggles.  

When my son was a baby, I faced a number of challenges.  He was colicky.  He wanted to nurse all the time.  He never took a nap on his own.  And as he grew, it seemed the number of situations I just didn't know what to do about expanded.  I needed more information and support, but wasn't sure where to go.  As I looked around at the available parenting books, I felt more confused. Family members were uncomfortable with my choices and they warned me that what I was doing was going to create a monster.  It was a difficult time for me, but one that stretched me to connect with what my son really needed and learn to find support from those who understood what I was working towards.  I had no real blueprint for what I was trying to do, but I was still determined to do it.

Well, life has a habit of sending you exactly what you need to grow and I felt for a while that I was way too blessed in this department.  I was overwhelmed after a series of losses in my own life and was struggling with the same difficult behaviors my parents had faced with my brothers now with my own son.  I didn't understand how my son needed me to connect with him because I had never experienced it.  As his behaviors escalated, I continued to seek answers.  I read as many parenting books as I could find, but they all seemed based on behaviors and I knew that it didn't work.  It only made it worse and the disconnection in my home was so far away from the family I had imagined.  How could this have happened?  

As circumstances always seem to unfold for me in such an amazing way, I was guided to the people who were able to show me the way out of it all.  I am so thankful to Heather Forbes for being that beacon of hope when I was in the middle of the darkness.  There is hope.  And there really can be peace in our homes and in our lives.  It has been such an amazing journey for me and it has touched upon so much more than just my parenting and my relationship with my son.

So, the resources that I am developing through my website are all those things that either helped me on my own journey or that I wish I had had from the beginning.  This is only the beginning and we already have much to offer here.  Check out our TeleParenting classes, based upon the book Heather Forbes, LCSW, co-authored with Dr. Bryan Post: Beyond Consequences.  We also offer phone coaching, which was another one of the things that made a huge difference for me on my own journey.  I am also having a Family-Friendly retreat this fall on St. Pete Beach, Florida, which was another big part of my healing journey.  And be sure to check out my store and my new e-booklet about Handling Criticism When You Are Parenting Differently.  It is only $3!  These were the words I so needed to hear when I was first starting to do things differently.

We are continuing to create resources that you tell us you need, as well as those that were of benefit to those of us on our own journey.  Let us know how you're doing and what you need most to help you on your journey.  We're listening.

1 comment:

Mary said...


Make good use of your parenting resources. If there’s a friend in the neighborhood with a child of the similar age, try for baby-sitting, for a few hours. You can take her kid one day of the week, both kids can play with each other, and she does the same, for another day of the week.