30 Day Challenge, Day 14: Cleaning Our (Emotional) Closets

Last Friday, as you may recall, I had a dream that suggested my closet was a good place to start with my physical and emotional letting go and to release what was no longer needed in my life.  I hemmed and hawed, but finally managed to get myself into my closet (after thoroughly enjoying a little video on procrastination posted by a friend on Facebook).  It was overwhelming for me, but I knew it just had to be done.  And if I didn't do it, no one was going to do it for me.

I knew I needed to sort through clothing, so I picked an "easy" place to start- clothes that I had already sorted and knew didn't work for me. All I needed to do was pull them out and put them into the bag.  Instant gratification.  I had started!  Feeling slightly more confident now that I had accomplished something, I went in to tackle more stuff.

What I didn't realize was just how right I was about the emotional letting go that needed to happen and that it was going to happen in the closet!  As I pulled out more stuff, I came across reminders of people who were no longer in my life who needed to be released- several shirts, books, gifts, memory boxes.  I thought I was cleaning out my closet, but found that I was literally cleaning out my emotional closet, too.  And not only was I making the conscious decision to release these items (or not), but I was also making a decision about whether or not I was willing to let go of the emotional pain of these situations, people, or circumstances.

As I set aside the things that needed to be released, I realized that I was also letting go of the emotional baggage I had been carrying with me for so long.  I didn't need all of these reminders of people who had hurt me or of the negative events from my past.  I can acknowledge what happened, love each person and situation, and let them go.  I don't need all this stuff holding me down.

As I finished the work in my closet, I realized that I had done way more than tidy it up.  I felt like I was stepping forward into a new reality- one that didn't include all that clutter from the past.  I felt free! 

Have you been able to let go of things you no longer need or that no longer serve you?  I'd love to hear about it!  I'm going to keep going with this project, so I'll let you know how it is going for me!

30 Day Challenge, Day 10: Letting Go

Last night, I dreamed of cleaning.  Now, you have to understand that cleaning is not my forte.  In fact, I often remark that I have read the book Confessions of an Organized Homemaker by Deniece Schofield 22 times.  And I'm not making up that number!  Each time I've read it, I've gotten more great ideas and I'm reminded to compare only to where I've been and not compare to someone else.  However, the author, or some other cleaning fairy, has never shown up at my house to actually do that work.  I work very hard to stay caught up, but I know this isn't one of my...gifts. 

So for me to have a dream of cleaning is more than unusual.  But more than cleaning, I was actually simplifying in my dream.  I went into my closet and it contained only the clothes that I actually wear.  There were fewer things in the house.  The words, "The more you have, the more you have to take care of" from the aforementioned book echoed in my dream.  Seems like a pretty clear sign to me!

So my gift to myself today (and I suspect for the rest of the month, too) is going to be decluttering.  Simplifying.  Letting go.  I think that's perfect for a month that in the past has been defined, at least subconsciously, by loss.  And loss implies that I did not choose it.  Letting go is a shift in my words.  I choose to let go of that which I no longer need in my life.  I suspect that this letting go process will be about more than just the physical stuff that I've collected, but rather also about letting go of resentments, unfulfilled expectations, and the feeling of being a victim with no choice in what happened to me.  Instead, I will embrace forgiveness, acceptance, and peace.

But I know that I cannot simply jump ahead to the forgiveness, the acceptance, and the peace without first doing the work.  Just as the clutter in my closets isn't going to clean out by itself, I need to be an active participant in this process.  I need to be proactive.  As with the physical clutter in my house, so it is with my own personal work: I need to go in and take a look around at what I'm still holding on to so that I can let go of what no longer serves me.  This is a place I have visited many times in the past, but I am ready to go deeper now.  I am ready to let go. 

What are you holding on to?  Physical stuff?  Emotional stuff?  Are you ready to nurture yourself by letting it go?