Keeping it together... when we're angry or depressed... for the kids

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On the day of candy

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New Radio Show!! True North Parents Wednesdays at 1pm EST

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/truenorthparents

I've been talking about having my own radio show now for about 2 years. The time seems right and the star have aligned. And guess what?! It starts THIS week!

I'll be learning to ride the bicycle as I build the bicycle, so bear with me and my learning curve. But this is going to be good fun!

I'm going to be talking about all the topics that I struggled with as a parent (and things I'm still trying to navigate) and the things that I always wanted to sit around with my parent friends and have a good discussion about. I'll be talking about those topics I see many parents struggle with. I'll be sharing my personal stories and stories from parents who have worked their way through (and maybe some parents who are still trying to find their way...). This show is meant to be interactive and you're invited to call in to join me, share your stories, and ask your questions. Shows will be recorded and archived, so you can always listen to them later.

My show will be live Wednesdays at 1pm Eastern time (NY time). Follow this link to "follow" me on Blogtalk Radio. This is also where you'll go to listen to the show.

The first show will be THIS Wednesday, February 18 at 1pm NY time. I'll be talking about finding YOUR own authentic path and some ideas for navigating all the parenting information out there. The show will be 30 minutes long, which sounds just about right.

I hope you'll join me!

Coming up in the next few weeks on True North Parents Radio:
Wed, Feb 27- Road Blocks to True North: How we get stuck and what to do about it
Wed, March 6- Mommy Guilt: Releasing Yourself so your family can Thrive!
Wed, March 13- What is an Emotionally Healthy Family anyway? Can we get there from here?

Let me know if there is something specific you'd like to talk about, someone you'd like me to interview, or suggestions for the show please post in the comments section below. I'm working on my schedule for March and April now. Join me!

Our Real Beliefs About Connection

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Calming the Chaos workshop Fort Lauderdale, FL March 2, 2013

I'm delighted to announce that I'll be doing a workshop for families in the Fort Lauderdale, FL area!

Calming the Chaos: Creating Connection in Early Parenting will be held at Your Big Picture Cafe in Davie, FL on 

Saturday, March 2, 2013 from 1-4pm. 

Space is extremely limited for this venue, so please sign up asap to reserve your seat. Sign up here.

 

We'll be focusing on the first three years of parenting (although those with older children can still benefit from the information shared), including common mistakes and misconceptions and what you NEED to know to raise an emotionally healthy family! 

We'll be taking a closer look at "high need" children and how to support both yourself and your child. I have some great tools to share with you that you can take home and start using the day of the workshop that can provide relief and understanding of yourself and your child. 

One of the coolest things I use in my practice is Intuitive Kinesiology. I'll be talking about how I use Intuitive Kinesiology with my families to quickly find the central issues that are going on so they can be released. I'll share how I use this to more fully understand what is going on with a child, especially with those who are non-verbal or can't express what is going on. Fascinating!

We'll also be exploring the importance of connection with your partner and what you can do amidst all the changes in early parenting to stay connected. And last, but not least, we'll be discussing the critical importance of self-care and how to actually do it.

This will be an interactive workshop. It will also be recorded if you are unable to attend in person or would like to get the presentation to share with your partner.

Sign up here to join us! Want to have your partner join you? Use this link for your partner after you register. With a primary registration, your partner is just $15!

Interested in the audio? You can find that here. This will be an mp3 download available after the event.

Our Needs vs Their Needs? Is there a better way?

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30 Day Challenge, Day 4: Have You Befriended Alpha?

I'm sure it isn't a surprise for you to hear that we all spend a great deal of our time in the "go, do, hurry" state. Every one of us has a really long to-do list that calls to us when we're trying to relax or do something else that needs to be done, right?  Am I alone in this?  I don't think so!

I was amazed to read about the fact that there are different brainwave states that are important for us to be happy and healthy besides the "go, do, hurry" one.  When we're rushing around, multi-tasking, and trying to get a lot accomplished, our brain is in "beta."  But did you know that there are 4 main brainstates, not just "on" or "off"?  I had a sense that there was more, but really didn't understand it until I read Connection Parenting.  Yes, Connection Parenting, not some book about brain science.  This book by Pam Leo explained it in very simple terms that I could wrap my brain around and embrace.

So, there's delta.  Delta is important for a good night's sleep.  We all need delta.  Regularly.

The next most relaxed state is called theta.  Everyone passes into and out of theta every day twice a day (more if you nurtured yourself with a nap!  Bonus points!!).  We enter theta when we are falling asleep and waking up.  The great thing to know about theta is that we often find the answers to our problems when we're there.  Our inspiration, creative problem solving, and novel solutions are found right here.  Daily.  That's why it can be really effective to think about a challenge you're having right before you go to sleep and you'll often wake with the answers!

If you're familiar with Writing Down Your Soul, the book written by Janet Conner, the writing process she describes tells you how to access the theta brainwave state when you're awake!  I did an interview with her about this process and you can listen to it for free here.

Now, if you're counting along with me, you know there is still one more brainwave state left.  I totally saved the best for last.  I think this last one is the best kept secret.  If we all knew about this as parents and how magical it can be, we would try to spend all our time here.  OK, maybe not ALL our time.  But a lot of it.  Alpha could be considered in between theta (nearly asleep) and beta (go, do, hurry).  It is more relaxed than beta (go, do, hurry), but not as dreamy as theta.  I had no idea how important this state was until I did some experiments with it after I read Connection Parenting. 

Remember the list I wrote out yesterday about the things that nurture me?  Well, turns out that those things are all in the alpha brainwave state.  When we move out of beta (go, do, hurry) and into alpha (slowing down), we completely change the energy of what is happening in our own bodies and also with the people around us.  Pam Leo's book, Connection Parenting, had mentioned that knitting was great to calm everyone.  I laughed to myself, since knitting was about the least relaxing thing I could think of since I was unable to knit without extreme concentration (not alpha!).  But I stuck with it and practiced my knitting until I was able to do it without too much thinking. 

Then one day, I had my opportunity.  Both my boys were really loud and were driving me a little crazy.  I was hearing George Castanza's father on Seinfeld saying, "Serenity Now!" and knew I had to do something!  I pulled out my knitting (which felt like the craziest thing to do at that moment) and started in on my next row.  A miracle happened.  My children quieted down within about 30 seconds.  I'm serious.  One went off to read a book while the other went off to play by himself quietly in his room.  I didn't say a word.  I just began to knit.  I felt more calm and so did they.  Wow!

But what this did for me was just as impressive.  I kept going, tying all those little knots and let the world go for a while.  When I was done knitting and returned to my other tasks, I was able to focus and actually get some real work done.  All because I had stopped to nurture myself a little bit.  Important.  No, vital.

Alpha is another fine way to nurture ourselves.  Find alpha.  Become acquainted.  Befriend alpha, if you haven't already.  Let me know what puts you in alpha and if you have had or have any experiences with alpha or theta that you'd like to share. 

Today, I slept in until I was ready to get out of bed.  I give myself the joy of extra delta AND several more chances at theta, since I woke and decided to let myself go back to sleep!  Ah, the joys of a long weekend!

How's your 30 Day Challenge going so far?  What are you doing to nurture yourself today? 

Respect

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